For a year, I have been dreading the day I would have to make this post. It was on Lila's 3rd birthday, October 26, 2010, that she diagnosed with an aggressive bone cancer. On October 16, 2011 we had to let our sweet angel go. She almost made it to her fourth birthday.
A couple of weeks ago we noticed that Lila wasn't "her crazy self". We noticed her eyes were red and that she wasn't eating all of her food. We always said that we would know something was wrong when she didn't eat her food because that was one of her favorite things. Then one night I noticed that she was breathing heavily and I knew that this could be it. This cancer goes to the lungs and that is how most dogs die. My parents willingly took her to the vet while I was at work. They called and told me that the doctor just thought it was some sort of respiratory infection because the lungs sounded clear. So I was relieved.
I had already scheduled Burnie and Lila's annual check up for the following week before this had all went down. Well then Lila got worse. She wouldn't even eat cooked chicken. So I had Keith move up the appointment to Sunday. Then we made the decision to do the Xray of the lungs. We were very frightened... we started making plans. We were hoping that it was just a cold or something that had a cure. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. We were supposed to bring Burnie up at 3:30, but they called us to come in by 1:30. I had a bad feeling. I was trying to stay positive, but I couldn't help but think this may be the day I have to say goodbye.
When we arrived at the vet, I could tell from the body language of the receptionist that it wasn't good. Then we were called in and the doctor began to tell us the cancer had come back and that now it had engulfed her heart and lungs. The vet said, " It was a mess in there". We made the decision that it was time. We didn't want her to suffer anymore. Not once did she cry or even show any sign of pain. She was one tough cookie.
We were devastated. We decided that we are going to bury her ashes underneath a newly planted Sycamore tree. Keith is going to engrave a stone to place it under the tree. I know a lot of people would think this all crazy for "just a dog", but she wasn't "just a dog". She made me so happy. I am having trouble moving past this only because I miss her so much.
Last Friday, there was a knock at the door and we don't normally have unexpected guests so we were both wondering... who in the world? Keith answered it and it was flowers and card from everyone at the vet with their own little comments how much they loved Lila and will miss her. I thought that was super sweet even though it made me start the waterworks again.
Almost everything in the house reminds me of her. I miss her cleaning up Burnie's food that he spills all over the ground. I miss her waking me up, even if it was always too early. I miss her leaving all the toys all over the ground. I miss her putting her big head on me.
I hate cancer. I keep asking "why?" Why did my amazing aunt have to die? Why did my lovable dog have to die? WHY? I don't have the answers, but I do faith in God and hope that Lila meets me at heaven's gate. She truly was one of kind and she will NEVER be forgotten! <3
