Lila at her 1st birthday!

Today would have been Lila's 5th Birthday. She will always have a special place in my heart!  I miss my girl terribly!  I think about her every day. Looking at "her tree" in the backyard reminds me just how precious life is. It still hurts to think about how her life was cut short, even though she wanted to live so badly. In honor of Lila, Keith and I will look at the photos and clips we have of her. It has been so hard to watch or look at anything because she meant so much to us. We were in a state of shock when we found out she had bone cancer. I feel very thankful that we got a whole year after diagnosis. In that year, she truly reminded us why we loved her so much. How taking away one of her legs didn't stop her lively spirit or her eagerness to love. I love you, Lila! You will be talked about for many years to come. 

I hope to see you again my sweet friend

For a year, I have been dreading the day I would have to make this post. It was on Lila's 3rd birthday, October 26, 2010, that she diagnosed with an aggressive bone cancer. On October 16, 2011 we had to let our sweet angel go. She almost made it to her fourth birthday.

A couple of weeks ago we noticed that Lila wasn't "her crazy self". We noticed her eyes were red and that she wasn't eating all of her food. We always said that we would know something was wrong when she didn't eat her food because that was one of her favorite things. Then one night I noticed that she was breathing heavily and I knew that this could be it. This cancer goes to the lungs and that is how most dogs die. My parents willingly took her to the vet while I was at work. They called and told me that the doctor just thought it was some sort of respiratory infection because the lungs sounded clear. So I was relieved.

I had already scheduled Burnie and Lila's annual check up for the following week before this had all went down. Well then Lila got worse. She wouldn't even eat cooked chicken. So I had Keith move up the appointment to Sunday. Then we made the decision to do the Xray of the lungs. We were very frightened... we started making plans. We were hoping that it was just a cold or something that had a cure. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. We were supposed to bring Burnie up at 3:30, but they called us to come in by 1:30. I had a bad feeling. I was trying to stay positive, but I couldn't help but think this may be the day I have to say goodbye.

When we arrived at the vet, I could tell from the body language of the receptionist that it wasn't good. Then we were called in and the doctor began to tell us the cancer had come back and that now it had engulfed her heart and lungs. The vet said, " It was a mess in there". We made the decision that it was time. We didn't want her to suffer anymore. Not once did she cry or even show any sign of pain. She was one tough cookie.

We were devastated. We decided that we are going to bury her ashes underneath a newly planted Sycamore tree. Keith is going to engrave a stone to place it under the tree. I know a lot of people would think this all crazy for "just a dog", but she wasn't "just a dog". She made me so happy. I am having trouble moving past this only because I miss her so much.

Last Friday, there was a knock at the door and we don't normally have unexpected guests so we were both wondering... who in the world? Keith answered it and it was flowers and card from everyone at the vet with their own little comments how much they loved Lila and will miss her. I thought that was super sweet even though it made me start the waterworks again.

Almost everything in the house reminds me of her. I miss her cleaning up Burnie's food that he spills all over the ground. I miss her waking me up, even if it was always too early. I miss her leaving all the toys all over the ground. I miss her putting her big head on me.

I hate cancer. I keep asking "why?" Why did my amazing aunt have to die? Why did my lovable dog have to die? WHY? I don't have the answers, but I do faith in God and hope that Lila meets me at heaven's gate. She truly was one of kind and she will NEVER be forgotten! <3

A-mazing!

She amazes me! Lila was super energetic due to the cooler weather, so I decided to take her on a short walk. Holy Crap! She was dragging me... you know how a puppy runs when it gets out on accident? Well that was Lila yesterday! She was even racing up the hills in our neighborhood. It felt like she has been waiting for this moment forever. Only 24 more day until the big day! After seeing how happy she was running like a big goof... I feel like she would to get out and about on her birthday. We can't take her to the dog park because the vet didn't want her to get the kennel cough shot because it can weaken the immune system of a dog with cancer. That is okay because she prefers people over dogs any day. When we used to go to the dog parks... she first would visit all the people... then she would play with other dogs. She truly is a human's best friend. :-) I love her so much and I am very grateful for each day I have with her.

Each Day is a Gift!

I am so thankful that Lila is still with us! She amazes me everyday with her energy and love of her family. In a 1.5 months she will be 4! :-) I am hoping that she can be here with us on her fourth birthday, but if she is in pain... I want her to painfree. So far though she seems to be free of cancer. We were thinking about doing something special for her on her birthday. I hope to post about our special day somewhere. :-)

Rollercoaster of Emotions

In late May, Keith and I noticed that Lila's back foot was pink. I washed her foot hoping that maybe it would help. Unfortunately, it just worsened as the days went by. So we took her into the vet expecting the worst. I was certain he was going to say that the cancer has traveled to her other foot. To my surprise, it was just a yeast infection in her foot most likely due to allergies. The vet wrote her a prescription for steroids and we thought everything was going to be fine and dandy. About four days later, we woke up to her peeing on the bedroom floor. Lila hasn't done that since she was puppy so I we knew something was wrong. Then she probably went to the bathroom about 30 other times that day. She was also peeing out blood. Poor Lila! So we made an appointment with the vet that day and we were told that most likely it was a bladder infection, but a urinalysis was taken just in case. So she very soon after her first dose of medication she wasn't having any potty problems, so again I thought we were golden. Then the I get a call today that she needs blood work done ASAP because she could possibly have cancer or auto immune disease. I had to bring her in as soon as I got home today. After that phone call I just stood in my kitchen and began to cry. I prayed to god that Lila's blood work would be positive. Thank you god for my gift. Tests turned out to be okay. What a rollercoaster! I try not to get so emotional, but she just means so much to me. She brightens my days and is so deserving of a good life. I feel so fortunate that she has been with us for over 7 months after her diagnosis. I honestly never thought she would make it this far. She is full of life and I just hope she continues to be her crazy, lovable self.

Heart filled with Happiness!!!

The weekend of our wedding we had to put both Burnie and Lila in the kennel, since no one would be able to watch them.While at the vet, Lila was getting a chest x-ray. About an hour before I was about to walk down the aisle the vet called and I told the vet, "Please don't tell me anything yet, I am about to get married." I was a little nervous about hearing the results when we picked them up. So we were on a high from our wedding and I was convinced the news was going to be bad. I was told that especially since she was young that the cancer would spread even faster. The average dog with this kind of cancer that has received the treatments that Lila has received lives an average of 9 months. However, I just had this feeling that I was about to receive some crappy news.

To my surprise when I asked the vet he said there was no sign of cancer in her chest! I couldn't believe it! I asked, "So... nothing.. absolutely nothing?" He said, "No". With all the emotion I was feeling I couldn't help but cry. So then all the office staff began to cry. It was a pretty emotional moment. I am so thankful! I really hope she beats the odds.. she is pretty incredible!

She is still very full with spirit and energy! Each day I am so thankful she gets to happily bounce around. Even though this has been hard to handle, it is just a great reminder of what is really important in life.

Last Chemo!!!

We made it! Yesterday was Lila's last session of chemotherapy! It has almost been 3 months since her diagnosis and things are looking all clear. :-) Doctor at AVS says she looks amazing and her lungs sound great. I hope with all my heart that she can beat this! I know she is bound to have some arthritis down the road, but as of right now she isn't on any pain killers and is a crazy, bouncing maniac. The only time she is a little not herself is about 24 hours after chemo... like right this moment she is in our bed lounging. By tomorrow she will be back to her maniac ways! :-)

So where do we go from here? Sometime soon she will need a chest x-ray to make sure it hasn't spread to her lungs. We will watch for any lameness in any of her other limbs. Then we pray she stays her happy self for as long as she can. I will keep posting with any new updates the best I can.. but as most of you know.. I'm getting married in less than 2 months.. so things are getting a little crazy. Look for more videos and pictures soon to come!

Christmas Pictures

Merry Christmas!

It has been almost 2 months since Lila's diagnosis. My best Christmas present this year is having Lila with us this year. For a while there, we didn't know if we would be able to afford everything, but I guess we did it anyway. There are just some things that are more important than debt. I know somehow someway we will make it. Even if it means getting summer jobs.

I hope we can spend many more happy, healthy Christmases together! :-) She seems to be back to herself again. There are of course are certain things that are a little more challenging for her. There are times I just smile and watch her because I am so proud of her. I know it can't be easy, but she doesn't let her handicap get in her way. Just yesterday, Burnie, our greyhound began to charge off with a toy. Lila saw this and charged right after him and stole the toy right from his mouth. He was so stunned that he just stood in confusion. I'm so blessed to have my sweet girl her with me for another amazing Christmas! Christmas pictures are soon to come!

Merry Christmas!

Playful

December 19th, 2010

On a High!

Keith and I were so thankful for the help we received from the Dog and Cat Cancer Fund! You can find Lila's page at http://www.dccfund.org/dogs-treated/lila/ . As the weather gets colder, the crazier Lila gets. This morning she was trying to get Burnie to play with her.

This round of chemotherapy was different for her. She has still has had a whole lot of energy and her appetite.. well she is begging for food hours before it is time to eat. We still think it was the antibiotics that were the cause of those symptoms. So only good news to report! :-) I'm going to post a few videos. I have been meaning to post them, but well.. I've been busy! :-) Have a wonderful holiday season!

Great Days!

The past two days Lila has soooo much happy energy! :-) It has eased my soul. She has been so incredibly playful. Overall she has done so well. This Saturday we go for our second round of chemotherapy. Luckily, The Dog and Cat Cancer Fund has chipped in some money to pay for part of one chemo treatment! Thanks Chris! Things are GREAT! Last night was the first night that Lila didn't wake me up in the middle of the night to go potty. Wahooo! I have been soooo busy, so sorry that I haven't been keeping up with this blog. I will have more time in 2 weeks!!

Thanksgiving Break

Keith and I haven't really seen any side effects from the chemotherapy. She was a little tired for a couple of days, but hasn't had any GI problems. She didn't eat her food one day, but realized that it was because we started putting fish oil pills in her food.. and well she didn't like them one bit. She actually ate all her food and spit the pill out. We went Costco today to get flaxseed to put in her food. It was successful! On Thursday, the day after chemotherapy she was making this weird clearing her throat noise. We think it may actually be the bad taste in her mouth from the fish oil. I hope so anyways.. luckily after a few times that day.. we haven't heard anything like that from her. She has made it one month after her diagnosis. I can't believe it has only been a month.. a very tough month. It has gotten easier each day. I'm glad we are done with the "draining" from the amputation, that was pretty gross. I feel lucky that I have time to enjoy with her. Today she was playing with her toy pumpkin and I was throwing it and she zoomed after it. I wish I was recording it!

First Round of Chemo

I've been VERY busy, so I haven't been able to post. Lila got all of her staples out last Sunday. The wound healed beautifully. The only problem is that Becca noticed a little bit of puss come out of a section of the wound. So they called in a prescription of antibiotics just in case.

Yesterday, I came home and the first thing Keith said to me was go look in the bedroom. Sure enough, Lila jumped up on giant bed.. It is almost as tall as she is! Well she got up there 2 more times yesterday and one time this morning. It is her favorite place in the whole world. Unfortunately we feel like we should keep her off it because she could easily hurt herself. Last night we watched her get down.. we were astonished! We told her to get down and then she hopped over to the side of the bed that had her soft bed on the floor. Then she got really low crouching -like and got off the bed slowly. What a SMART dog!

Then this morning we had an appointment at AVS at 9. We were at the consultation for about an hour and half. We had to make some hard choices and we decided to not recheck lungs or do an ultra sound on her stomach... it was $500! So hopefully, she is fine. They did blood work and everything was in normal limits. So then they were able to give Lila one dose of the Carboplatin. I am not liking the fact that the price is done per pound, considering her giant size. Everyone at the vet just loved her, as they always do. Everyone comments on her beautiful markings and her charming personality! If they only knew how amazing she really is!

270 days.. that is the average lifespan of a dog from day of diagnosis with Osteosarcoma. I'm so hoping that they are way off. The Doctors said that because she is young the cancer is most likely more aggressive, but considering her disposition and eagerness to eat she may beat the odds.

It should be interesting to see how she does with this first round of chemotherapy. So far, so good. The only stressful thing is having to keeping her slobber and "business" safe from everyone. We actually have to use gloves to pick up her "stuff". Cancer is CRAZY! We got great news today that the Dog and Cat Cancer fund wants to help us pay for chemotherapy! We are also thinking about starting our own fundraising website because this is getting exponentially expensive! There a very few things that I would spend this much money on.. but I consider her a part of the family and I love her ..probably way more than I should!

Drain+ 1/3 Staples are out!

Finally the icky drain is out! Becca also took out about 20 of 70 staples out. It was amazing how still Lila was during the removal. By Sunday, she will have all of her staples out! Then the dirty dog can get a bath! We have decided to pursue chemotherapy. We have to make another consultation with AVS, since it is a different department. We are trying to make the appointment for Friday or Saturday, so that way she can start the treatment on Monday.

Today Lila was very playful with her bone. I want to take her, but she is still a little bloody. I will post a video once she stop "draining". Everyday she is stronger and more playful! The future looks bright!

Cancer Results

Well... not a surprise it is officially osteosarcoma... pretty much one of the worst cancers a dog can get. It is okay because Keith and I are thinking positively. She is so lively and is ready to eat everyday and today.. she was a little too lively! Burnie was chasing a squirrel outside and began jumping on the fence. Lila heard this and RAN outside! I tried to yell at her to stop, but squirrel chasing is a serious business in a dog's life.

I would like to thank Lila for being my sanity at the end of my day. Keith and I bought her during my first year of teaching. At that time, she did not give me that "feeling of sanity". She was a puppy, what do you expect? By my second year she had settled down and on my "bad days" she would comfort me by either pushing her head underneath my hand so I would pet her or come give me sloppy Great Dane kisses. So, I think that the past few days that I have had to watch her every move and help her do certain things or wake up ten times a night are nothing compared to what she has done for me. She has given me unconditional love at all times.

I really hope she makes it until Christmas. There are moments that I think she will leave a full life, but then the rational side of me knows that we are up against great odds. I know she has only been given 3-12 months, but I hope she can beat those odds. Depending on what the Doctor finds out from the specialist at AVS and the specialist in Tampa, we are going to decide to pursue Chemo. If it is already in Stage 4, well, we are going to enjoy each day that is left. We are taking it day by day and sometimes hour by hour. This awful situation has really made me realize what is truly important. I think sometimes we get so busy in our lives, that we don't take time to realize what is truly important. I am so blessed! Keith has been my rock through all of this, even though I know how much he is hurting inside. Surprisingly, this has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. So, I consider myself VERY lucky!

Weekend

Well it has been a challenging few days. I have told myself that I can't continue to worry with every step she takes or I will go crazy! The vet tech, Becca, came out to our house today to check up on her.. by the way I love Piedmont Animal Hospital! She told us that is still going to be a few more days worth of drainage and her staples will come out next Monday. Lila just loves it when people visit! She hoping around like a crazy maniac!

Tomorrow is a BIG day we find out for sure what type of cancer it is and what stage it is in. Keith said to Becca, "Stage zero, right?" Wouldn't that be nice? Too bad that isn't going to be the case. Overall, I am very proud of Lila and I hope that her will to live will keep her happy and healthy for a long time. I am nervous about leaving her alone all day tomorrow. I am planning on putting a sock on her foot so she can't scratch her wound through the shirt. She is going to LOVE that! I hope to post some great news tomorrow!

Post Amp Day 4

Well.. I was so preoccupied loving her that I didn't get to write last night. When we picked her up from the Piedmont Animal Hospital she was hopping excitedly. She knew it was time to come home and she was soo ready. She is doing EVERYTHING on her own! Anyways, I was in paying the extremely big bill when Lila apparently JUMPED into hatchback. She is crazy! The doctor is a little worried that her back legs aren't strong enough, so we have to build up those leg muscles. He suggested swimming. We happened to get a life vest to support her walking.

Last night she was just finishing doing her business and then she wanted to run into the house. Instead she fell and let out a yelp.. my heart dropped. After she got up she just stood up and looked at us thinking... do I really want to do that again? We kept telling her to slow down. Luckily there was only that fall. We have to put a t-shirt on her because she continues to "drain" from her surgery. I can't wait until it stops so she can come out her crate. I took the mattress off the guest bed and placed it next to her crate so she wasn't so lonely last night. So far so good!

Day 3: Post Amp

I was so excited to see Lila. I kept telling Keith to AT LEAST drive the speed limit! Haha.. he just loves it when I tell him how to drive! I was bouncing up and down as we were heading into the vet. As soon as she saw us she began wagging her tail. We watched her walk with the vet technician. She has to keep a towel under Lila to help support her as she walks. It seems like it is going to take her a while before she can get this 3 legged thing down. She hadn't really been eating her food today, but as soon as we showed up she chowed down! When we were outside with her,she went over to the gate... looking longingly at the cars in the parking lot. I'm sure she was thinking.. isn't time to go home? We could have taken her home today, but she is still draining a lot. It is a lot of blood.. it scares me a bit, but I know it is normal. We are hoping that the drain can come out tomorrow and we can bring her home. Tomorrow we are making a call to the specialist about chemotherapy. It is expensive, but we are hoping to grants from companies that give money to dogs with cancer. I want her to have a fighting chance.