Lila at her 1st birthday!

Today would have been Lila's 5th Birthday. She will always have a special place in my heart!  I miss my girl terribly!  I think about her every day. Looking at "her tree" in the backyard reminds me just how precious life is. It still hurts to think about how her life was cut short, even though she wanted to live so badly. In honor of Lila, Keith and I will look at the photos and clips we have of her. It has been so hard to watch or look at anything because she meant so much to us. We were in a state of shock when we found out she had bone cancer. I feel very thankful that we got a whole year after diagnosis. In that year, she truly reminded us why we loved her so much. How taking away one of her legs didn't stop her lively spirit or her eagerness to love. I love you, Lila! You will be talked about for many years to come. 

I hope to see you again my sweet friend

For a year, I have been dreading the day I would have to make this post. It was on Lila's 3rd birthday, October 26, 2010, that she diagnosed with an aggressive bone cancer. On October 16, 2011 we had to let our sweet angel go. She almost made it to her fourth birthday.

A couple of weeks ago we noticed that Lila wasn't "her crazy self". We noticed her eyes were red and that she wasn't eating all of her food. We always said that we would know something was wrong when she didn't eat her food because that was one of her favorite things. Then one night I noticed that she was breathing heavily and I knew that this could be it. This cancer goes to the lungs and that is how most dogs die. My parents willingly took her to the vet while I was at work. They called and told me that the doctor just thought it was some sort of respiratory infection because the lungs sounded clear. So I was relieved.

I had already scheduled Burnie and Lila's annual check up for the following week before this had all went down. Well then Lila got worse. She wouldn't even eat cooked chicken. So I had Keith move up the appointment to Sunday. Then we made the decision to do the Xray of the lungs. We were very frightened... we started making plans. We were hoping that it was just a cold or something that had a cure. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. We were supposed to bring Burnie up at 3:30, but they called us to come in by 1:30. I had a bad feeling. I was trying to stay positive, but I couldn't help but think this may be the day I have to say goodbye.

When we arrived at the vet, I could tell from the body language of the receptionist that it wasn't good. Then we were called in and the doctor began to tell us the cancer had come back and that now it had engulfed her heart and lungs. The vet said, " It was a mess in there". We made the decision that it was time. We didn't want her to suffer anymore. Not once did she cry or even show any sign of pain. She was one tough cookie.

We were devastated. We decided that we are going to bury her ashes underneath a newly planted Sycamore tree. Keith is going to engrave a stone to place it under the tree. I know a lot of people would think this all crazy for "just a dog", but she wasn't "just a dog". She made me so happy. I am having trouble moving past this only because I miss her so much.

Last Friday, there was a knock at the door and we don't normally have unexpected guests so we were both wondering... who in the world? Keith answered it and it was flowers and card from everyone at the vet with their own little comments how much they loved Lila and will miss her. I thought that was super sweet even though it made me start the waterworks again.

Almost everything in the house reminds me of her. I miss her cleaning up Burnie's food that he spills all over the ground. I miss her waking me up, even if it was always too early. I miss her leaving all the toys all over the ground. I miss her putting her big head on me.

I hate cancer. I keep asking "why?" Why did my amazing aunt have to die? Why did my lovable dog have to die? WHY? I don't have the answers, but I do faith in God and hope that Lila meets me at heaven's gate. She truly was one of kind and she will NEVER be forgotten! <3

A-mazing!

She amazes me! Lila was super energetic due to the cooler weather, so I decided to take her on a short walk. Holy Crap! She was dragging me... you know how a puppy runs when it gets out on accident? Well that was Lila yesterday! She was even racing up the hills in our neighborhood. It felt like she has been waiting for this moment forever. Only 24 more day until the big day! After seeing how happy she was running like a big goof... I feel like she would to get out and about on her birthday. We can't take her to the dog park because the vet didn't want her to get the kennel cough shot because it can weaken the immune system of a dog with cancer. That is okay because she prefers people over dogs any day. When we used to go to the dog parks... she first would visit all the people... then she would play with other dogs. She truly is a human's best friend. :-) I love her so much and I am very grateful for each day I have with her.

Each Day is a Gift!

I am so thankful that Lila is still with us! She amazes me everyday with her energy and love of her family. In a 1.5 months she will be 4! :-) I am hoping that she can be here with us on her fourth birthday, but if she is in pain... I want her to painfree. So far though she seems to be free of cancer. We were thinking about doing something special for her on her birthday. I hope to post about our special day somewhere. :-)

Rollercoaster of Emotions

In late May, Keith and I noticed that Lila's back foot was pink. I washed her foot hoping that maybe it would help. Unfortunately, it just worsened as the days went by. So we took her into the vet expecting the worst. I was certain he was going to say that the cancer has traveled to her other foot. To my surprise, it was just a yeast infection in her foot most likely due to allergies. The vet wrote her a prescription for steroids and we thought everything was going to be fine and dandy. About four days later, we woke up to her peeing on the bedroom floor. Lila hasn't done that since she was puppy so I we knew something was wrong. Then she probably went to the bathroom about 30 other times that day. She was also peeing out blood. Poor Lila! So we made an appointment with the vet that day and we were told that most likely it was a bladder infection, but a urinalysis was taken just in case. So she very soon after her first dose of medication she wasn't having any potty problems, so again I thought we were golden. Then the I get a call today that she needs blood work done ASAP because she could possibly have cancer or auto immune disease. I had to bring her in as soon as I got home today. After that phone call I just stood in my kitchen and began to cry. I prayed to god that Lila's blood work would be positive. Thank you god for my gift. Tests turned out to be okay. What a rollercoaster! I try not to get so emotional, but she just means so much to me. She brightens my days and is so deserving of a good life. I feel so fortunate that she has been with us for over 7 months after her diagnosis. I honestly never thought she would make it this far. She is full of life and I just hope she continues to be her crazy, lovable self.

Heart filled with Happiness!!!

The weekend of our wedding we had to put both Burnie and Lila in the kennel, since no one would be able to watch them.While at the vet, Lila was getting a chest x-ray. About an hour before I was about to walk down the aisle the vet called and I told the vet, "Please don't tell me anything yet, I am about to get married." I was a little nervous about hearing the results when we picked them up. So we were on a high from our wedding and I was convinced the news was going to be bad. I was told that especially since she was young that the cancer would spread even faster. The average dog with this kind of cancer that has received the treatments that Lila has received lives an average of 9 months. However, I just had this feeling that I was about to receive some crappy news.

To my surprise when I asked the vet he said there was no sign of cancer in her chest! I couldn't believe it! I asked, "So... nothing.. absolutely nothing?" He said, "No". With all the emotion I was feeling I couldn't help but cry. So then all the office staff began to cry. It was a pretty emotional moment. I am so thankful! I really hope she beats the odds.. she is pretty incredible!

She is still very full with spirit and energy! Each day I am so thankful she gets to happily bounce around. Even though this has been hard to handle, it is just a great reminder of what is really important in life.

Last Chemo!!!

We made it! Yesterday was Lila's last session of chemotherapy! It has almost been 3 months since her diagnosis and things are looking all clear. :-) Doctor at AVS says she looks amazing and her lungs sound great. I hope with all my heart that she can beat this! I know she is bound to have some arthritis down the road, but as of right now she isn't on any pain killers and is a crazy, bouncing maniac. The only time she is a little not herself is about 24 hours after chemo... like right this moment she is in our bed lounging. By tomorrow she will be back to her maniac ways! :-)

So where do we go from here? Sometime soon she will need a chest x-ray to make sure it hasn't spread to her lungs. We will watch for any lameness in any of her other limbs. Then we pray she stays her happy self for as long as she can. I will keep posting with any new updates the best I can.. but as most of you know.. I'm getting married in less than 2 months.. so things are getting a little crazy. Look for more videos and pictures soon to come!